March 2012
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Febuary 18th
One of the craziest days I have ever been through in my entire life.
I woke up to that first call from you. You called me after looking at your phone and seeing me and you with Abe, and thought about how you missed me, and how cute we were, and thought you’d give me a call. I hate myself for ruining this for you, I really did.
At first, I wasn’t going to tell you what had happened, I...
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nataliespontaneouslycombusts asked: I agree with the last guy. It's so fucking similar to my breakup. You guys are so perfect together, and it's just not easy with distance. It gets so hard to maintain bonds and feelings when you spend so much time away from them until you're together. You're both just going through hectic times right now, but I have a strong feeling that once you guys are able to be around each...
guysonthemind asked: With all of this... after you both have flirted/been affectionate with others... to me, just shows you guys are bad apart because you're so perfect for each other. I think this is more about being used to being with someone and then when you rip that away, you look for other ways to fill the void, especially with the relationship still ongoing. I really hope he forgives you soon, because...
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Febuary 17th
The night that ended the best thing that’s ever been mine. The last, and final fuck up. From this point on, for anyone who has cared enough to read this story, is the 100% honest truth. Whether you believe me or not is up to you.
Day started out great, it was a Friday. I wasn’t planning on going out that night because I was doing community service marshaling from 9pm-2am for APO. I...
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Febuary 14th
It was Valentines Day. I was hanging out with Larryssa, helping her with her monologue for Hal’s play. You called me because you had to talk to me about something. You had told me earlier you were going shopping for some new clothes with Jason, which was fine. I can’t blame him for flirting with you, you’re so adorable, sexy, and cute. I would too. But you flirted back, you never...
February 2012
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Febuary 12th
I had to leave early to get back for my first APO meeting. I had such a great weekend with you. I still hated saying good bye to you, also doesn’t help that you’re so bad at it. But I knew you really did hate to see me leave as much as I hated having to leave.
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Febuary 11th
Probably the most romantic days I ever shared with someone. We woke up and luckily sneaked our way out of going to Colin’s hockey game. With out me even knowing, you started running a bath after Mary Sue left. Then you brought me into the big bathroom, candles everywhere, hot water, and you. My heart was gushing. I was so in love with you.
After all of that, we laid down in the living room...
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Febuary 10th
I was so excited to see you again already. Last two weeks since I saw you were rough, I had missed you tons. I woke up at 7am Friday morning, you haven’t even gotten to work yet. I decided to start my trip to see you early, got breakfast and hit the road. I was so happy the whole ride there. I ended up getting there fast enough to actually pick you up from work in Arlington! I got to meet...
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You asked me how.
How? I thought about this all day, how do I understand? I put myself in your shoes. I looked at everything through your perspective as best I could. I see why you did and didn’t do certain things because of me. How you missed me, how I was the strongest connection you had to albs and your friends. I was the one keeping you from being truly alone. And then I ruined it.
Just know, I’m...
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January 30th
Today, I found that picture of Lance and me and Facebook, what was the first thing I did? Show you. Because to me, that didn’t mean anything. But this is because I never understood that you give up so fucking much to make me feel comfortable, and I’m out at the club dancing with him. I get it. When I’m honest with you, I get so crazy and hectic because I don’t know how this...
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What I really wanted to do with you in the future.
I wanted to get this fucking job a price chopper,work all summer, and all of next year. Save up as much money as possible, get my degree, and just go away with you… Europe… South America. Take a year off, really find out what we wanted to do with our lives, it seems neither of us really know what we really want to do. Shit, grad school will always be there. I wanted to go where ever...
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Reblog if you would care if I committed suicide...
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January 29th
Me and your friends had to go back to albs. Goodbyes suck. I always hate saying goodbye to you. We had out kiss and I was gone again.
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FUCK
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January 28th
We spent the day in D.C. it was so much fun. We took that great pic of me you and Abe. That night we went to that club, got that one good pic of the four of us!! Then I got very tired and passed out on your shoulder, in turn getting myself kicked out of the club, setting off a stupid fucking crying spree. I said you were too good for me, that I didn’t deserve you, that I’m just a fuck...
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January 27th
I was so excited to see you, I was giddy with laughter and anticipation as me and your friends got closer and closer to Fairfax. We hugged for the first time in three weeks when I saw you, I was so happy I was finally in your arms again. At this point I was practicing being a bottom for you all week. We had a relaxing night just watching T.V. and hanging with your aunt and baur. We went to bed and...
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January 26th
My second fuck up. I went out to therapy with all my friends for Tims birthday. You didn’t really like it but you said you didn’t have a problem with it anyway. I was bumming cigs from my ex lance and talking with him and a couple other cookie-cutter gays. We ended up going to the dance for, where I danced with Lance for less than a minute, literally. We went back outside when Tim...
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Intermission
I missed you so much over the next couple of weeks. You said things like “I’m yours forever, and how we’re stuck with each other. I really hope what you said was true. We talked, we played wow, you’re job started and it was tough keeping it all together. You once said to me, straight up, that we would probably break up eventually, but that in the end we would be together....
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January 12th
Even thought we spent two straight weeks together, 24/7, we still weren’t sick of each other and missed each other already. I had partied a bit hard the night before. I woke up on Hals couch and couldn’t believe I actually wasn’t going to see you for weeks. I hated it. I wanted you to be with me, or me with you in D.C. But just knowing you were out there, and that you loved me,...
Reblog if you'd like 3 messages from a curious...
deathekidd:
Anonymous asked: What does bottoming mean? I'm sorry, my curiosity got the best of me. :/
I really fuck everything up don't I?
Welcome to my world
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January 3rd-January 11th
The week with your family. It was amazing and nerve wracking at the same time. I loved spending time with you and them. The alone time at night, movies, going out to dinner, having dinner almost every night with your family, going to turningstone. It was… wonderful. We had our little tiffs because I still wasn’t used to bottoming. But I swore to you I would be able to with no problem...
Anonymous asked: have you tried talking to him since the whole break up?
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